It’s just what they do, so let’s talk about it. Haters. This conversation does not have to be negative, although the word even makes me cringe. If you found your first hater(s) then you deserve a big pat on the back! Allow me to explain why this is weirdly a good thing.
I found my first hater last week. Did I cry? Surprisingly not, however, I was definitely upset. It’s almost embarrassing to admit but after an obvious rant about me specifically, I scanned her profile. She had a handful of posts saying how she “intensely hates people”. Shamelessly stalking her, I noticed the dates when these posts were, I realized I had posted those same days.
Am I so bold as to assume they were about me? Abso-fricken-lutely. The posts she made were quite specific.
It’s funny, because this girl thinks she knows me, but she’s doesn’t. At all. People that do not know you at all will hate you. So, the big question remains; how do you handle haters?
What do I do?
I am a firm believer in principles. How you handle a situation on a micro level is how you will handle it on a macro level. This one person will not bother me, therefor I will not be bothered by any number of people. This hater said what she wanted, it upset me in the slightest, and I got over it.
I got over it because she hates me based on what she thinks I am like. Based on assumptions. And we all know assumptions make an ass out of you, and not really me. I know who I am, and so do you. Why should someone’s false opinion of you get to you? It shouldn’t!
So let’s go over a couple key points into just getting over it! You got work to do, and ain’t nobody got time to give haters energy.
1. Send some love to haters.
If this is surprising, check yourself before you wreck yourself. Guys. This person who has these negative feelings towards you (again) does not even know you! The solution for this is not fighting fire with fire. It’s taking a step back and sending good vibes their way.
You do have the option of mentally critiquing every post of theirs going forward. We all know that is going to be worse. So, if this is a social media vendetta, I dare you to take a positive step and like, heart, or even comment on their posts.
If you are a big dreamer in this world then the world is counting on you to be the positive light. So do it. Send love and be nice.
2. Take it as a compliment.
Do you think outrageously successful people have had everyone cheering them on from the get go? I think we both know the answer to that question. There are so many success stories that started with an absolute ton of nay sayers and haters at the back of this successful person. There is a reason those people are behind the successful person.
Maybe you are meant to be one of those success stories. This hater of yours is so consumed by what you are doing that they simply cannot look away. You are doing something worth looking at – which, inherently, is good! You’re making waves and not everyone likes that.
3. Be empathetic.
As I said in my first post, people forget to dream. I really don’t know this hater of mine, and maybe she is perfectly happy in her life – I don’t know! I could be off, but my guess is that something in her life may not be to her satisfaction. I’m sending good vibes her way because there really are plenty to go around.
Haters sometimes can be bullies. They sometimes take out their frustrations on others. They take it out on people who they think are a certain way, or people that have what they think they cannot. In truth, I don’t have what some may consider the best life – I am just thankful. And all of us are capable of that.
Think about why this person might not have that internal joy. A truly joyful person would not waste their time bashing or dragging someone’s name through the mud. It just doesn’t fit. So, whatever it is that she may be struggling with, I am sincerely empathic because I have been there.
Have you ever wanted to gossip or criticize and realize it’s because you are frustrated with something in your own life? Ever gossiped because you are jealous? Let this behavior stop at you.
4. When all else fails, say bu-bye to the hater.
If what they are saying is really getting into your head, disconnect. Unfriend, unfollow, unsubscribe. Do what you must to get away from that person because you are in control of what you see in your feeds. Know yourself enough to disconnect from them if the negativity is too much for you.
Negative posts can be really hard to see, especially when they are about you. There is nothing saying you have to stay connected to this person and if they are not serving you, get them out of your feed!
If you’re a dreamer, you’re gonna have haters. It just is what it is. People won’t get it. They won’t get you. They will be offended that you are challenging the status quoe and insulted that you believe you deserve more. Some may resort to becoming a hater.
In the silver lining – that hater is just another follower. And, trust me, your haters will follow you closely. Mine may be reading this now. Hey, girl!
So as the song goes, let’s give them something to talk about. And let’s make it your success story, girl!